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It has been 14 years since I got divorced but my ex still tries to call me and blames me for all of his problems. I don't know how to handle his issues, or my insecurity when it comes to him.

I'm sorry to hear that you're dealing with this. It sounds incredibly stressful and draining. After all this time, it's not fair for your ex to keep putting his problems on you. It's important to set boundaries for your own peace of mind. Have you tried explicitly telling him that you're not responsible for his issues and that he needs to stop contacting you for these reasons? Your worth and your peace are important, and it's okay to prioritize them. It might also be helpful to seek support from

Most of my family tells me to ignore his calls. basically just ignore everything. I'm always concerned that if I ignore him, he will strike out and try to make life difficult in other ways. He is a self medicating alcoholic.

I see why you're in such a tough spot. Ignoring him might seem like the simplest solution, but your concerns about potential backlash are completely valid, especially given his struggles with alcohol. It's important to protect yourself emotionally and physically. If you haven't done so already, it might be worthwhile to explore legal advice on how to handle the situation, especially if you're worried about him lashing out. Sometimes, having a formal boundary like a restraining order, if it comes

We do share a child. I have shielded her as much as possible. Her father has never requested to see her, or talk to her, ,and she is about to become an adult and I also have no clue how she is going to decide to handle their nonexistent relationship. Can you offer any suggestions how to broach the subject, or should I just let her make those decisions herself?

Navigating this with your daughter is delicate, given the circumstances. Since she's about to become an adult, she probably has some awareness of the situation more than you might realize. It could be helpful to have an open, honest conversation with her about her father, without overwhelming her with the negativity of the past. You can let her know that you're there to support her in whatever decision she makes regarding her relationship with him, emphasizing that her well-being is your top pri

She is the most amazing part of him. The divorce was really difficult and He often said that I must have cheated on him, because there is no way he could have had a daughter. This was eventually cleared up for him when she took a 23&me test for her 16th birthday. His loss honestly she is so Amazing. I do not want her to be hurt by him if she seeks him out. The Divorce was hard on me, Confusing for her. The fact that he got married two more times even more so. Do you have any ways that I could br

It sounds like you've been handling a very complex situation with a lot of grace and care. Approaching the subject of her father with sensitivity and without bias is key to supporting her without influencing her decisions with your own feelings about him. One way to broach the subject is to focus on her feelings and perceptions first. You might start by asking her if she has any thoughts or questions about her dad, emphasizing that it's okay to feel however she feels and that you're there to su

My Ex has already married and divorced at least 2 more times. I am not sure if he is married or not at the moment. The reason I know about the other two are because he had to call me the second time, because he had forgotten to change his insurance paperwork and was two spouses behind on information. I was his 3rd wife. I honestly want the best for him, I just want the drama to stop for us. How can I help to facilitate that!

It's commendable that you still wish the best for him despite the challenges and drama that have come your way. Facilitating a drama-free environment mainly involves setting clear boundaries and minimizing direct involvement in his personal affairs as much as possible. Given the history and the complexity of your interactions, especially concerning things like the insurance paperwork incident, here are a few steps you could consider: 1. **Legal and Financial Separation**: Ensure that all legal

I wish I had done this sooner. It just seems like I did not follow my heart and mind. I really want my child to have the best relationships possible, even if we as adults fail her. I hope her future relationships are not as worrisome as mine as been. Divorce has been a hard long road. Do you have any other advice on how I can teach her that romance is still a good thing, even if her momma's most important relationship failed and ended in divorce?

It's natural to worry about the impact your experiences might have on your child, but it's important to remember that your journey has also equipped you with wisdom and strength that you can pass on to her. Teaching her about the positive aspects of romance and relationships, even after experiencing a difficult divorce, is definitely possible. Here are some ways you can do that: 1. **Model Healthy Relationships**: Show her through your actions and interactions with others what healthy relations